i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
