I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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