There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
