Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
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