I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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