Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
