remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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