I'm laying in your front yard are you home
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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