I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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