i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
