OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Randomize
