does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
