my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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