There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
