im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Operation Purity has been aborted
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
