No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
