And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
