I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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