i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize