Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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