True but thats because hes a fetus.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
My vagina is very pro this idea
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
