Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize