Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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