all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
