I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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