IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You're a waste of cheezeits
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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