hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
if i died would you start the facebook group?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
