So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I need a beard to bite.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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