no, he came in my armpit
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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