god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
