I bet he comes in French.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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