I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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