I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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