what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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