Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
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