I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
