I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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