How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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