The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize