yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
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i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
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Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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