Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
