4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
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