how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
