I'm eating all of the evidence.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
