I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
