I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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