i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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