He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight