I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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