This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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