i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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