Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
