Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
