I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
