Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
