Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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